While yesterday was all about celebrating your beloved, today I’d like to suggest that you put the focus squarely on yourself and reflect on what you are doing to look after you. I’m not talking about one-off treats that make you feel good in the moment (even if I love Donna and Tom's approach), but rather relying upon regular activities that make self-care a priority.
With so many items on our to do lists, doing something for ourselves often seems impossible. However, I ask you to equate its importance with that of an emergency oxygen mask on an airplane. Safety instructions tell us that we must put on our own mask first before helping others. The same goes for self-care. We must look after ourselves as a priority so that we can interact with, support, care for and enjoy others.
What to do
When creating your self-care practice, build it around something that will bring you joy or soothe you. Self-care is about helping you be your best you so whatever you put in this category, it needs to be something you enjoy and look forward to doing. Take a moment to think about activities you truly enjoy.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
-- Reading
-- Walking
-- Rolling out your mat at home for Yoga with Adriene
-- Taking a bath
-- Writing in a journal or a letter to a friend
-- Applying a sheet mask
-- Listening to music
-- Catching up with a friend in person over coffee or wine
-- Dancing
Please note, I’ve tried to give you a list that is light on technology. So many of us seem to be addicted to our phones and devices and while 21st century tech advances are amazing, it shouldn’t rule our lives. I'm always amazed and saddened when I see groups of people where most are typing on their phone.
That said, let me be transparent and say that yes, my self-care includes using my Kindle to read books and my iPad to practice yoga. When I do either of these things, I make a conscious effort to focus on what I’m doing and I often enable Do No Disturb on my phone. And it makes traveling with these practices very easy.
How often
I think my suggestion list demonstrates that I'm not saying self-care takes the form of meditating for two hours per day, although for some people this may be their ideal routine. I generally advocate that people try to take 20 minutes each day for self-care. But at the start, I appreciate that 20 minutes can seem as daunting as two hours.
Maybe you begin by listening to a playlist of your favourite songs while you’re getting ready in the morning or having a solo dance party when you get home from work while you clean your face and change into comfy clothes. Starting small is definitely the way to go if the idea seems daunting. Focus on doing something that is important to you; something that will fulfil you. Even if it's only for a few minutes.
And while daily practice is the goal, maybe you begin by doing it just once a week and then add a day each week until you reach a daily practice. It's worth remembering, though, that it won’t transform things overnight. To feel less frayed around the edges, you will need to repeatedly engage in self-care behaviour.
And on the days when you literally have no time to set aside (it happens!), don’t despair that you missed a day. Just get back on track as soon as you can. The longer you practice self-care, the more resilience you will have stored when times are manic. You’ll find yourself surviving stressful situations with less damage.
What is your favourite form of self-care?